Us Against the World
by bruninhagalle
Summary: Set after 1x10. After weeks of a cold and distant Weller and another meeting with Oscar, Jane can't take it anymore. When she confronts him, she asks a question that changes everything: "Do you want me to leave, Kurt?".


**A/N:** First of all, I gotta say, Blindspot is the first tv show after a long time that had me dying to write something shipper-wise. And what a great shipper they gave us! There are a lot of amazing stories around here and I'm happy to join this fandom with this contribution. I hope you guys like it! Please let me know what you think! And **thais_christ** , my beta reader of all times, thank you for reading and correcting this (and for the prompt that inspired me to write).

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 **Us Against the World  
Jane & Kurt  
Angst/Romance**

It was too late when Jane felt two hands grabbing her arms from behind and pinning her against the wall. Her knee was already on its way up, her attacker's groin her next target when his voice registered in her troubled mind.

"Stop. It's me."

Her eyes found his in the dim and poorly lit abandoned room. She blinked, her knee mid-air and her mind racing. Oscar? What was he doing here? Did he follow her and the team to this warehouse? What the hell did he want now?

"You shouldn't have told them about me." – His voice was a whisper, his tone rushed. He knew the team would soon realize she wasn't responding anymore. _Kurt_ , he thought bitterly, certainly would.

"I trust them."

 _Not you._

"It was not part of the plan." – His eyes searched hers, desperately trying to make her understand. – "I'm invisible. Inexistent. The man in the shadows covering your back."

"I don't know who you are." –She hissed back, knowing part of it was a lie. She knew exactly who he was, or at least, what her memories told her: her ex-fiancé. Someone she probably loved very much in her past life. Someone she should trust implicitly.

Oscar sighed, a look of defeat crossing his features.

"Patterson is getting closer to discover who I am. I don't know how she is doing it but she is. And she shouldn't. She _can't_."

Patterson. He knew who she was.

"Is that a threat?" – Jane closed her hands around his biceps, wanting to get away from him and all the confusion he brought with him.

Since the first time they met, three weeks ago, her life was not the same anymore. _Again_. The team tried to hide it but sometimes she caught them looking at her as if she was out of her mind. And she probably was, before all of this, if she was really responsible for tattooing her whole body and wiping off her own memories.

But the worst of it all was Kurt's reaction. When she told them – looking at anyone but him – that the idea to send herself to Kurt Weller was hers since the beginning, he had closed down.

All the walls were back and she had no idea how to tear them down. The kiss was never mentioned and the only things they talked about were strictly professional and case related. He also made a point to never be alone in the same room with her anymore.

"No. It's just a warning. I want to keep helping you but if they find out who I am, I might have to disappear for good. And that was never part of the plan. I'm supposed to be here for you. Like…" – His voice broke and he released her arms, surprising them both by framing her face with his hands. – "Like always. Help _me_. You trusted me with this plan for a reason. "

 _You love me._

Tears were in her eyes upon hearing the desperation in his voice, in his pained eyes. He was looking at her now like sometimes Kurt did, as if he was waiting for her to be someone he lost.

Before she could promise anything, Weller was running towards them, yelling her name and with his gun ready to shoot.

Oscar stepped away as fast as he had grabbed her and was running in the opposite direction of the FBI agent in no time. He didn't say anything else, just softly caressed her cheeks with his thumb, shot her a longing look and was out of sight before her next breath.

Jane closed her eyes for a moment, replaying everything that had just happened and when she reopened them, Kurt was right in front of her, his eyes roaming around her body looking for any signs of injuries.

"Jane, are you okay?"

She just nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Her eyes locked with his and the concern and fear she found there, different from the cold and distance from the last weeks, had her crying once more.

"Jane. Jane." – Kurt stepped forward, into her personal space and just like Oscar, held her by her arms. – "What happened?"

"That man… He was Oscar."

He released her the minute he heard the words, the name of the man that shattered and obliterated that little moment that was just theirs with his video and revelations. Her heart broke a bit more with his reaction and his eyes were already like she was used to after these past few weeks, so far away from her that she felt like screaming.

"Right." – He swallowed, trying to control his temper. His jealously. – "What did he want?"

"He said I shouldn't have told you guys about him, that he was supposed to stay in the shadows because that's the only way he can protect me and..." – She saw how his jaw tightened with her last words. – "And the mission."

Kurt nodded, his eyes showing her he finally understood what had just happened was all about.

"Because this mission of yours," – He all but spat the words back at her. Jane flinched, willing herself not to cry. Not to run. – "It's all that matters, right?"

"No!" – She took a step forward and almost restarted crying when he took one back. – "You know that's not true."

"I don't know a single thing about you, Jane."

And with that, he turned and walked away. He never saw the few tears that ran down her cheek, nor the way her whole face showed the absolute despair she felt in her current situation.

After a few minutes to recompose herself, as she followed his path to meet the rest of the team, one sentence played in loop inside her head, the same sentence that haunted her every night.

 _You did this to yourself. You… did… this… to… yourself._

* * *

She had a sense of déjà vu as she observed him approach the place where she sat, two grocery bags hanging from his hand.

"What's wrong?" – His voice wasn't as warm as the last time they were there but his eyes showed the same concern.

"I needed to see you." – Jane replied, getting up but not daring to come any closer to him. Her heart clenched at the difference between the two moments.

"Mayfair was clear when she told you that sneaking out was not allowed."

"I didn't." – She silently indicated a point ahead on the street where a black car was parked, two men inside.

"Good." – Weller looked around and if it was another time, she would smile a little and tell him there was nothing for him to worry about. She was safe, especially because she was with him. – "So what do you want?"

His blue eyes came back to hers and now, it was his heart that broke at the sight of her. The raw pain was etched in every line of her beautiful face.

"Do you want me to leave the team?" – She asked almost in a whisper, willing herself not to cry. She had done that too much already since Oscar reappeared earlier that day.

Weller felt his stomach revolting with the idea of not having her in the team and in his life. He was hurt, yes, and he felt somehow betrayed that she specifically chose him for her mission (probably studying and profiling him for months) but he wasn't ready to say goodbye. He never would be.

"No." – He sighed, feeling tired all of sudden. The last weeks were torn between memories of their kiss and of the moment she told them about the video.

"I can't do this anymore, Kurt." – Her hands motioned between them. – "You won't talk to me. You barely look at me. You don't even trust me anymore. We can't be a team like that."

"Do you think this is easy for me?" – He felt his anger rising, her confession on the video and Oscar touching her earlier that day flashing through his mind.

"I _know_ it's not easy for _me_."

If he wanted to fight, then she would give him a piece of her mind as well.

He laughed then, the sound devoid of any emotion. She hated it. It was nothing like him. Like the Kurt she knew and cared about.

He took a dangerous step in her direction and her stubbornness made her stay put, her eyes challenging him to say whatever he wanted to say. This, the two of them about to hurt each other was better than the unbearable silence of the previous days.

"You came into my life with no memories of yourself. A poor, lost woman with her body covered in strange tattoos. We helped you in any way we could. I vouched for you since day one. Trusted you. Put my life in your hands multiple times." – She could feel him vibrating with controlled anger and against her head ordering her to turn and run, she stayed there, paralyzed, looking at this tormented man who became everything for her.

"I believed with everything in me that you were the little girl I lost so many years ago. I've waited for you my whole life and now…" – She waited, her breath caught in her throat, for the final blow. – "And now I don't even know what's real. Are you Taylor Shaw? Or did you just use her and my history with her to get to me? What are your true intentions?"

"I don't know!" – She pleaded with him. – "I can't remember! You have to believe that!" – She felt compelled to shake him until he believed her but kept her hands wisely to herself. – "I wish I could give you all the answers, Kurt."

"I wish that too, Jane." – Even if he was terrified of the answers. – "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to remember what you said to me once, during one of our first cases." – She stared at him, nothing but sincerity in her gaze. - "I told you I was afraid of finding out who I was before all of this and not liking that person. You said I was a good person. You didn't even know me then. Not like you know now."

"I thought I knew you, Jane."

"Damn it, Kurt!" – And now she did touch him, her hands enclosing his arms and lightly shaking him. His eyes winded with her sudden outburst and choice of words. – "You know me! You are the only one who does."

"What about Oscar? I'm pretty sure he knows everything there's to know about you." – He deposited the bags on the ground beside him and touched her too, mimicking her position and she could feel the possessiveness of his hands. A relief she didn't anticipate flooded her at his proximity. She wasn't expecting to feel any of him ever again.

"I only have a few memories of him. I feel nothing for him. _Nothing_."

He spent a few seconds just looking at her, taking her in a way he hadn't allowed himself to do since that fateful night. She had dark circles under her eyes, her skin seemed paler and she looked a little thinner.

He felt bad for imposing the recent distance between them and causing so much distress for her but he also knew he had needed it.

"Look, Jane, I can promise you I will behave better, ok? I'll talk to you and look at you and in no time we'll get our dynamic as partners back." – She was about to speak when he went on, not giving her the chance. – "What I can't do is this thing between us. Whatever it is."

He wanted to take his words back the moment her eyes filled with tears.

She felt like he had just slapped her.

"Because I'm probably not Taylor?" – Her voice was so tiny she wasn't sure he heard.

"No." – His sure and fast answer confused her. – "Because when you remember Oscar, this guy you loved so much you accepted marrying him, what happens to me? To us?"

She had no answer for that. They both knew it. With a sad smile, Weller released her, took his bags and backed away to the entrance door.

"I'm not that woman." – He froze upon hearing her words. – "This is who I am now. I'm making new choices and we are defined by them. And if…" – She went to him with all the courage she had left, placing one hand right above his heart. – "And if by some miracle you can forgive me someday, I need you to know that I'm choosing to live in this moment. I'm choosing this life. These new memories. These new people. I'm choosing you, Kurt."

She smiled a little. It felt good to finally say it out loud.

"And you might say I've already chosen you before, for whatever mission I had in mind but this is not what this is about. This is about what I feel and what you made me feel ever since I crawled out of that bag in Times Square. And I'm choosing you."

He had the same dumbstruck expression now that he had when she kissed him. Having said everything she wanted and feeling lighter with his promise to at least be her partner again, she sidestepped him and wished him a good night.

She was moving past him when his hand shot out to hold her wrist and before she could utter a word, he pulled her to him, their bodies colliding. His arms squeezed her and she felt like coming home.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you." – He whispered, not believing how he could stay away from her for so long when all he wanted to do was to hug her exactly like this. – "I'm sorry I pushed you away again."

Her hands fisted his jacket, hard, not ever wanting to let him go.

"I understand, Kurt. I'm sorry for whatever I did before I lost my memories."

"Your intentions are good, Jane. I've never doubted that. You _are_ a good person."

She smiled against his shoulder, not sure she deserved him after everything she'd done to him.

"Thank you."

They stayed locked in each other's embrace for minutes that felt like hours. When he finally pulled away, he didn't let go of her.

"It doesn't matter whether or not you are Taylor Shaw." – He raised one of his hands and softly cupped her jaw. – "I want you, Jane. You. I'm choosing _you_ too."

His lips were crashing down on hers before she could say anything. If their first kiss was shy and tentative, this demanded everything. Her lips parted for him, a moan escaping her and he groaned in response, pressing her impossible closer to his body.

His grocery bags hit the floor when he placed his now free hand on the back of her head, changing the angle and taking more and more of her. Their tongues dueled for dominance and she was positive she had never felt so alive.

When he felt himself losing the last of his control – the thought of taking her clothes off and kiss every single one of her tattoos right there crossed his mind -, Weller pulled away, their heavy breath the only sound around them.

"We are in this together." – He murmured against her mouth.

His little smile and bright and happy eyes had her wanting to kiss him all over again.

"Yes. Yes we are."

Now more than ever.

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 **A/N:** So? Should I write more? And guys, I'm totally taking new prompts, so if you have one, fire away!


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